Candle in the wind.
John12:23-24, Jesus said ‘….the hour has come that the Son of Man should be glorified. Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain’.
My kidneys had grown to the size of two coconuts and the system in my body had all jammed up. I was like a pregnant man. I could not breathe, lost of appetite and suffered severe constipation. I thought I was going to die. I said God, ‘I shall not die, but live. And declare the works of the Lord.’ (Psalm 118:17)
Because of my love and desire to continue to glorify the name of the Lord, I began a search for a doctor to remove at least a kidney, so that I have space inside my body and perhaps I could live longer. I was fighting for my life, like a candle in the wind. The urologist from my own hospital had no confidence in the operation and practically chased me out of his clinic. The doctors in Kuala Lumpur said they could remove one kidney but at a heavy price and at the same time I had to look for finance for the operation because I live by faith.
In desperation, I started to bargain and struggle with the Lord, I begged, ‘God why have you forsaken me? You are the Lord that healeth me, you are the Lord my healer. Just stretch your hands and touch me. Your hands are not too short nor your eyes blind nor your ears blocked to my predicament, Lord! part your clouds and come and deliver me, please.’
After much prayer and waiting with a brokenned and contrite heart, the Lord impressed deeply upon my heart. He said, ‘Yes son, I am the Lord your healer, I will have mercy on whomever I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whomever I will have compassion.’ (Rom.9:15) I have chosen you from the beginning of time that you have to walk this path. ‘For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I may show My power in you, and that My name may be declared in all the earth.’ (Rom.9:17)’
God continued, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness’, (2Cor.12:9) ‘…for when you are weak, then you are strong.’ (2Cor.12:10).
People who believes only in prosperity and healing, doesn’t realize how much strength God gives to those, especially Christians, who have to go through sickness, deprivation, rejection, etc. in their lives, as long as they are not discourage. And through their sufferings the Creator will hone His character into their souls, which will last through eternity.
‘In bringing many sons to glory, it was fitting that God for whom and through whom everything exist, should make the author of their salvation perfect through suffering.’ (Heb.2:10) Jesus, being the first-born (Rom.8:29), has shown us the way on the cross to perfection.
We do not have to suffer for our salvation because it is only by grace we can enter only by grace we stand. Not by our human endeavor but by the blood of the lamb. But after salvation we have to suffer for righteousness sake and for spiritual promotion, from maturity and to be more and more like Christ. Suffering is a wonderful fertilizer for the roots of our character. The great objective of this life is character, for it is the only thing we can carry with us into eternity.
I was convicted in my heart and I remembered ‘Gethesemane’. I said ‘Abba Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from me, nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will.’(Mark.14:36) And peace began to reign in my heart.
listen to the song 'A Broken and Contrite Spirit who can bear' @
http://soundclick.com/kbchan
http://soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=3550630&q=hi
next........the crucifixtion.
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