THE RESURRECTIION (6) - BEYOND SALVATION

Suffering with Christ and Glorifying in Him.

Rom.8:17-18, ‘Now if we are children, then we are heirs – heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.’

Jesus has come not only to suffer and die for our sins (salvation); for the restoration of our relation with God (Mal.4:6) and finally, by His example shown us the way to receive glory in heaven.

He is first born (model) among many Brothers (Rom8:29) for us to follow. If we are join heirs with Jesus in the Heavenly places then we should also participate in His suffering on earth. His three years of ministry on earth has shown His children, what we have to do for God on earth when Jesus goes to the Father in heaven.


Suffering for Righteousness – Suffering for Glory in Heaven

What sufferings? Did not Christ say on the cross; ‘It is finished’. Why should we have to suffer again?

If you have suffered for sins and the consequences of your sins, then you deserved it because of the law of sowing and reaping. Whatever you sow you shall reap. Good trees bear good fruits. Gal. 6:7, ‘Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.’

Here we want to talk about suffering for righteousness, sufferings because you want to please God, you want to be Holy and blameless, you want to serve the people for God and because of your maturing in the Spirit Realm; to be more and more like Christ.

God is preparing us for eternity. Man looks at the present but God looks to eternity.
Human beings behave as if they will live forever, but there is a time frame for human beings to be on earth; to show their faithfulness to God. Psalm 90:10, ‘The length of our days is seventy years - or eighty, if we have the strength.’ (Caterpillar to Butterfly story)

God will use this period of time on earth to purify and sanctify your souls for eternity.
All the blessings of prosperity and healing of the body (physical) will go with you into the grave when you die (temporal – does not produce fruit in the spiritual) but the healing of the soul and spirit will benefit you and bring glory for you in eternity. Righteous Suffering on earth will bring transformation and changes to your soul (purification); to be pure and blameless. The Perfect will of God. (Eph. 1:4).

Beyond Salvation

I thought we are saved by grace not by works? Yes, we are saved by grace not works. You do not have to do anything to achieve salvation.
Eph.2:8-9, ‘For by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is a gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast.’

By the blood of the lamb you are washed and cleanse of your sins. If you are born of the Holy Spirit (born again), your name will be written in the Book of Life; when you die you will go to heaven.
Rom. 10:9, ‘That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.’

Wait!!! This is not the end, but just the beginning. We are chosen not just to be saved. Now we go beyond salvation (no suffering, no works) to a step further to prove our faith and love for God in bearing fruits for Him. That’s a lot of work and work means suffering.
To work out our salvation with fear and trembling (Phil.2:12)

Jesus says in John. 15:16, ‘You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit – fruit that will last…’ Bear fruit in serving Him on earth and fruits in developing our character; in Gal. 5:22 (Fruit of the Spirit); to be Christ-like, that will remain till eternity.

God also put testing and trials (tribulation) in our life for our advancement and maturity (Rom.8:28) in our soul and spirit, that we will suffer for righteousness and overcome it. Look at the New Testament saints, they even suffer unto death.

Four levels of faith shown in the Bible:-

1. Simple Faith - Believing God for provisions, health and wealth. Selfish and inward, it’s all about them. (Outer Court Christian)

2. Grateful Faith - Even when things are not happening as they have expected they still will continue to believe; thankful for their salvation.
Hab.3:17-18, ‘Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no
grapes on the vines, though the olive crops fails and the fields
produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no
cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be
joyful in God my Savior.

3. Sacrificial Faith -Even in suffering and deprivation. Believe that all things work for the good of those who love God and called according to His purpose. (Rom. 8:28) A good example is Job.

4. Selfless Faith - Willing to suffer unto death. Martyrdom -. Steven in the book of Acts, and most of the Apostles. Highest level of Faith.

As you can see from Matt. 24, (about the signs of the end of the age) and the Book of Revelation and compare to what is happening around the world today, the world is ending soon. God is on the move and He is in a hurry to purify His children. For those who do not know God, the sufferings will make them turn to God.

From Genesis, the creation of the world, to the Book of Revelation, God has been advancing and progressing. We are now already living in the last few chapters of the Living Bible; we have now gone beyond salvation.

Hear Ye!!! Hear Ye!!! This is the message in season to all Christians. Perhaps the saints that God has been destined to be saved is almost up as mentioned in Rev.6:9-17 (The Living Martyrs)

‘We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time.’ (Rom.8:22). The whole creation groans for the return of the Messiah for what is happening around the world right now. We need a new world order under Christ Jesus reign.

Glory In Heaven.

I believe that those who have received salvation and do not bear fruit for God, nor allow God to purify them will still go to heaven but will not receive any rewards and glory in heaven. Perhaps they will just be ordinary citizens of heaven. (Phil. 3:20)

Daniel 12:3, ‘Those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like stars for ever and ever.’ When Jesus returns, many will rise up like the stars in heaven (firmament), some shinning stars, some pale stars and some will be greater lights and some will be lesser lights.

God told Abraham, that his children will be as many as the stars in heaven. Stars do not have lights but a reflection of the brightness of the sun. How much glory you receive in heaven will be how much Christ-likeness you reflect in your soul and spirit.

There is reward in heaven waiting for us. There is also a government in heaven where positions have been reserved for you if you have been faithful. Perhaps Jesus will say, ‘Well done, my good servant, because you have been trustworthy, take charge of ten cities.’ (Luke 19:17). Amen.

Click 'Burning Sweet Insense With My Song'

www.soundclick.com/kbchan

next.........Fresh Manna

THE RESURRECTION (5) - A LIVING SACRIFICE

A Living Sacrifice.

Rom. 12:1, ‘I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.

All through the four chapters I have written, I talk about the advancements of my soul and spirit (spiritual realm) which is in the perfect will of God, achieving for God glory after glory. On the other hand my body (flesh) and its medical and health conditions are deteriorating all the time.

2Cor.4:16-17, ‘Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles, are achieving for us an eternal glory that far out weights them all.’

It is natural that our flesh and our spirit (spirit and soul) always move in the opposite direction. When we want to advance in the spiritual realm we have to die to the natural (flesh). Dieing to our flesh is painful, especially, when we are living creatures with feelings, emotions and senses; this is the Spiritual law of God. We have to crucify the flesh because the flesh is sinful and is a stench to the nostrils of God. Imagine when flesh rots.

Gal.5:17, ‘For the flesh lusts against the Spirit and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.’ Spiritual promotion will come with the decimation of the flesh. As in my case, I am on course in the eyes of God. He must increase and I must decrease. (John 3:30)

That is why we have to be a living sacrifice. Why is it a living sacrifice? In the olden days of Israel when they offer a sacrifice unto the Lord, they would kill the animal, let the blood flow for the forgiveness of sins and then put the dead animal to burn in the fire; a pleasing aroma unto God.

God expects us to be a living sacrifice, after our salvation by the blood of the Lamb, who are still living and knowing, have senses and emotions and feelings, to be offered as a sacrifice; refined by the consuming fires of God; the refiner’s fire and the baptism of fire; a holy living barbecue; pleasing to the Almighty.

God wants you to resist the temptations of the world, renew your minds, in-spite of its gold, glory and girls, and choose to walk a holy and blameless life, while you are alive, as a sacrifice for Him. This is the perfect will of God
Eph. 1:4, ‘…He chose us in Him, before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love...’
Hat’s off to the Spiritual Living Martyrs of the Almighty God. Hallelujah!!!



The Living Martyrs.


Rev.6:9-11, ‘When He opened the fifth seal. I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain for the word of God and for the testimony which they held.
And they cried with a loud voice, saying, “How long, O Lord, holy and true, until you judge and avenge our blood on those who dwell on the earth?”
Then a white robe was given to each of them; and it was said to them that they should rest a little while longer, until both the number of their fellow servants and their brethren, who would be killed as they were, was completed.’

These are the dead martyrs who were killed on earth and now their souls are in heaven crying out for revenge from God asking, ‘How long, Lord must they wait before they can be avenged.’

As from the chapter above, there are also a group of people who are crying out to God on earth, ‘How long, Lord, how long do you want us to suffer before you will come back to save the earth and stop all our sufferings in the flesh for being faithful toYou. We cannot stand it anymore; Lord not our will but Yours being done; how long?’

They are the saints who are the living sacrifices who have committed spiritual suicide (willingly die to their flesh) on the earth and are in pain because they want to walk in holiness and purity before the Lord. They are the living martyrs. The whole creation groans for the return of the Messiah (Rom.8:22); A new world order. Maranatha!!!


As I soared like an Eagle in my ministries and the work of the Lord, God allowed little foxes to come into my garden to try to destroy my vineyards, to test my faith further. I am still not perfect yet. Songs of Songs, 2:15, ‘Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.’

In the physical, every time I go for my ministries, there will be some little hindrances in my health that I will have to overcome. I will be suffering from soar throats, fever, sometimes coughs, knowing very well that I have to sing during ministry time. It will always be by faith that I go forth dragging my body along.

And praise be to God that when I minister, the symptoms will be all gone. Once I vomited all the way home, through lack of sleep living in lonely hotel rooms. I nearly fell out of my seat before my sermon during worship time when I had lack of sleep once. What a shame!!!

Age has caught up with me after God had restored my ministry these four years. I am supposed to be an old man now; 62 years, for a dialysis patient. And after fifteen years of dialysis, it has taken a toll on my body, bones and reflexes. My body suffers from inertia – no more production of enzymes to help my body run normally. And I spent a lot of money on injections, supplements and medicines to keep my body strong enough to continue to serve the Lord. Since I don’t have kidneys, I no longer have the enzymes to help me produce red blood cells and I have to do it through injections that cost me one or two thousands monthly.

My body is aching; through the years of dialysis, my bones and joints have become weaker. I have to be on a supplement that cost me RM40 per pill. That will be another thousand for the month. This has cause a financial turbulence in my pocket. I live by faith in the Son of God who loves me and gave himself for me on the cross. He has not failed me.

These fifteen years as a dialysis patient I have spent about RM500,000-00 (base on RM3,000 per month); but praise be to God who had supplied all my needs in the richest of His glory in Christ Jesus, through the generous giving of His people all over the world, whose hearts were touched by my songs and testimonies. God bless you!!! Just like God provided for Prophet Elijah by using the ravens, He had provided all my needs through His people.

Due to these little foxes, I have to cancel some meetings sometimes. And because of that less and less people have contacted me for local ministries. Perhaps, God is tapering me off in my local traveling ministries again, although my internet ministries are still going strong. Perhaps, God has seen my struggle with my body and wants me to take it easy and rest in Him. Relax!!! God is in control.
There is always a calm before a storm. God is on the move again!!!


An Excerpt from the book, ‘Streams In the Desert.’

The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me. (Psalm 138:8)

There is a divine mystery in suffering, one that has a strange and supernatural power and has never been completely understood by human reason. No one has ever developed a deep level of spirituality or holiness without experiencing a great deal of suffering. When a person who suffers reaches a point where he can be calm and carefree, inwardly smiling at his own suffering, and no longer asking God to be delivered from it, then the suffering has accomplished its blessed ministry, perseverance has “finished its work”(James. 1:4), and the pain of the Crucifixion has began to weave itself into a crown.

It is in this experience of complex suffering that the Holy Spirit works many miraculous things deep within our soul. In this condition, our entire being lies perfectly still under the hand of God; every power and ability of the mind, will and heart are at last submissive; a quietness of eternity settles into the entire soul; and finally, the mouth becomes quiet, having only a few words to say, and stop crying out the words Christ quoted on the cross:
“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’ (Ps.22:1)

At this point the person stops imagining castles in the sky, and pursuing foolish ideas, and his reasoning becomes calm and relaxed, with all choices removed, because the only choice has now become the purpose of God. Also, his emotions are weaned away from other people and things, becoming deadened so that nothing can hurt, offend, hinder, or get in his way. He can now let the circumstances be what they may, and continue to seek only God and His will, with the calm assurance that He is causing everything in the universe, whether good or bad, past or present, to work “for the good of those who love him” (Rom.8:28).

Oh, the blessings of absolute submission to Christ! What a blessing to lose our own strength, wisdom, plans, and desires and to be where every ounce of our being becomes like a peaceful Sea of Galilee under the omnipotent feet of Jesus.

The main thing is to suffer without becoming discouraged.

The heart that serves, and loves, and clings,
Hears every where the rush of angel wings.


Oh!!! Such sweet surrender.

Click Song 'Can't Live Without Your Love'

http://www.soundclick.com/player/single_player.cfm?songid=3597243&q=hi&newref=1

Next……… Beyond Salvation

THE RESURRECTION (4) - BEARING FRUITS

Bearing Fruits


Rom.7:4, ‘Therefore, my brethren, you also have become dead to the law through the body of Christ, that you may be married to another-to Him who was raised from the dead, that we should bear fruits to God.’

John15:16, ‘You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain…’


In order that we can transform people, we have to be transformed first. That’s the reason God puts us through testing and trials in our lives and gives us the grace to overcome, so that we will be a witness, to bear fruits for God and ourselves, fruits that shall last forever. ‘And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony and they did not love their lives to the death.’ (Rev.12:11)

‘Now that my stomach has so much space,’ I was thinking, ‘Why not I go for a transplant?’, so that I can be set free to travel the world; that has been the longing in my heart. But every time I arranged for a transplant it would always end up unsuccessful. And God did not give me the finance to do so. God has other plans.

God spoke in His still small voice, ‘KB, I did not heal your kidneys because you will be more effective serving me this way. I want you to be a trophy of my love, grace, mercy and strength, and wherever you go, My name will be glorified.’ I could have been another worship leader, another preacher. But now people started to call me, ‘The Pastor without kidneys’. Even the newspapers published my stories. (www.kbchan.net)

After the release of the CDs, ‘A Song In the Night’ and ‘Intimacy-a worship experience’ and my book, invitations began to come in to invite me to share my testimony and sing my songs, and it had touch a lot of people. My traveling ministry, once thought to be dead, has been restored. I could even do more for God than when I was well. Hallelujah!!!

I traveled across the country and visited East Malaysia and Singapore and ministered in churches, camps and concerts. I would do my dialysis whenever I needed one, in the place where I would minister. I would even carry my keyboard along with me. Although my flesh was weak my spirit was willing and His grace was sufficient for me.

The tears that I had cried through the years, dripping on the keyboard as I composed those songs, became living water to the souls of those people who had listened and touched by my songs. The pains that I had endured thru my ‘Baptism of Fire’ became fresh bread of experiences for their hungry souls. My albums were accepted at home and abroad. God resurrected my ministry. Glory to His name!!!

Fruits of My Sufferings -A Curse Has Become a Blessing

The pair of kidneys that’s supposed to kill me is glorifying the Lord everywhere I went. What people thought to be a curse has become a blessing. My suffering has begun to bear fruits for God, bringing harvest of souls and encouragement to the body of Christ. I would show them the picture of my kidneys while ministering and their faith will be lifted up to know that this man is still alive.

Just like Samson in the book of Judges, he found honey in the carcass of a dead lion. The lion is supposed to steal, kill and destroy (the devil) but if you can overcome it, you will find refreshment and nourishment from the sweetness of victory over the devil. Judges. 14:14, ‘Out of the eater, something to eat, out of the strong something sweet.’

Personally, there was a strengthening of my faith. Someone wrote to me and said that all these years of suffering had damaged my faith. I said no!!!. I have moved from glory to glory. I came closer to God, trusting and waiting on Him. Hab. 2:4, ‘the just shall live by faith. Heb. 11:6, ‘Without faith it is impossible to please God.’ My doctor once told me, ‘Mr. Chan you are without kidneys and you have been a dialysis patient for so long. Anything can happen to you anytime. And I said, ‘Praise the Lord.’ Faith’s cutting edge is like living on the edges of a knife, anytime you can get cut. Hallelujah!!!

There was a purification and regeneration of my soul as I began to surrender to His will totally and as He started to put me in the furnace of His refiner’s fire, the Baptism of fire and through the hard knocks in my life. God helped me mature as He developed my Christian character and my soul prospered.

There was more brokenness in my life and worship to God. I was feeling helpless and hopeless, humble and meek before the Lord. Psalm 34:18,’The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in the spirit. Brokenness is a quality in worship and it had brought me closer to God. The depths of suffering, brought spurts of inspiration to write songs, like King David in the Adullam caves.

I accomplished greater works for the Lord than when I was well. I had many souls saved. My whole family were saved, friends, colleagues, patients in the dialysis clinic were brought to the Lord. Even in my morning walks, God gave me the grace to bring people to Him by sharing my testimony. People really need the Lord. I could even visit the sick in the hospital when I was not on dialysis.

I became an overcomer. I could have been bedridden, feeling self pity or backslidden but God’s grace helped me not to give up and resurrected my life and ministry.
Rev.2:7, ‘To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life which is in paradise.’

God had turned my curses of sickness into blessings both for His people and me to the Glory and Honor of God the object of our worship.

International Fruits

Rom.9:17, ‘For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I may show My power in you., and that My name may be declared in all the earth.’


God is on the move again. This time God went a step further and brought my ministries to the four corners of the world. This little bird whose body is being entrapped in the cage, could now bring its singing across the nations of the world. God has given this little bird extra-ordinary spiritual loudspeakers and amplifiers for the world to enjoy its singing.
God finally has given me such creative freedom to my spirit and soul to roam even though my body cannot travel abroad.

By divine appointment in 2006, I got an opportunity to stream my songs in one of the hottest internet radio stations in the world in the USA. (http://www.soundclick.com/) Within two months of streaming, one of my songs, ‘Daddy You’re My Hero’, which I took half an hour to write, became a number one song on the Christian Contemporary and Pop charts on Father’s Day. I received more than three thousand hits everyday all over the world. I never looked back since. At present my number one hits stand at eleven. Go to my site www.soundclick.com/kbchan and click ‘comment’ to see those words of encouragement and testimonies for my songs. Things I have done in my room have gone to the nations. Today I can write and record a song and tomorrow it will be flashed across the world through the internet. That’s what the bible means, that greater things we can do for Him when Jesus is with the Father.

At the same time I also set up my own webpage (http://www.kbchan.net/) where my testimonies, videos, book and my pair of kidneys have bless many people.

In December 2008, I had the privilege of working with Lifeline International Ministries. I was interviewed on a talk show with none other than Rev Margaret and Vernon Falls. I shared my testimony and song on the show. This video including my kidneys will be shown throughout the six continents of the world. Hallelujah!!! (will let you view it when it is ready)

God says, ‘In His time He will make all things beautiful.’(Eccl.3:11) You may feel you are not going anywhere. You may even feel uncomfortable or suffering. Wait!!! Wait on the Lord, His words shall come to pass and shall not return void.

This period of waiting is very important to God, The Master Craftsman. In the metamorphosis of a butterfly, it is the waiting in the cocoon stage, that the caterpillar develops its unique characters and colors. If you take the butterfly out before its time, it will die. And in the fullness of time when the butterfly is revealed it becomes a beautiful perfect creature as God destined it to be.


God had successfully brought the fruits of my spirit and soul to the highest level although I had to drag my physical body along. It was moving in the other direction. It is a real hindrance and a struggle at times, but as long as I can accomplish God’s will, the flesh has to be put down, dying to the flesh, so to say. This is faith!!!


click on the hokkien song 'The Joy of the Lord'

www.soundclick.com/kbchan


Next………..A living Sacrifice

THE RESURRECTION (3) - THE CRUCIFIXION

The Crucifixion

Mark 8:34, ‘Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.’

After I surrendered myself and my situation to my Father in heaven, God began to open doors for me. Some people from my church heard of my condition and contacted me to let me know that there is a famous Urologist in the Penang General Hospital, who could help me and he is our church member.

After seeing this Urologist, he assured me with confidence that he would remove both kidneys for me. He is a man of God, and I believe he had heard from God and wanted to help me continue the work of the Lord. Praise the Lord!!! And within weeks I was on the operating table, living out what I described as my crucifixion. Other doctors whom I had seen before had warned the Urologist that it would be a highly risky job but he was willing to continue.

The Lord showed me Psalm 22 describing the prophetic psalm of Christ’s Crucifixion after my operation. There were many ‘good' doctors who surrounded me during the operation. I had a glimpse of all the doctors and nurses raring for action before I passed out on the operating table.

But in my spirit, I saw what had been described in Psalm 22:12-13, ‘Many bulls have surrounded Me; Strong bulls of Bashan have encircled Me. They gape at Me with their mouths, like a raging and roaring lion.’

Just like the unruly and angry Roman soldiers and the Jewish High Priests and people surrounding Jesus, whipping Him, mocking, cursing and tormenting Him. I could imagine the knives and medical instruments use to tear my body apart to reach into my stomach to dig out the kidneys. I compared them to the teeth of the roaring lion and the sharp horns of the raging bulls digging deep into my sides.

Psalm 22:16, ‘For dogs have surrounded me; the congregation of the wicked has enclosed Me. They pierced My hands and my feet.’ These described Jesus’ crown of thorns and the nails on His hands and feet. You should have seen the large butterfly needles that were pierced all over my body for pushing medicines into my veins for the operation.

Psalm 22:17, ‘…They look (gloat) and stare at me.’ The doctors were training their eyes over my broken (torn) body. My wife was waiting outside the operation room. Suddenly she saw a lot of nurses and doctors rushing into the operation room. My wife thought that I had gone to heaven. My doctor later told her that the nurses and doctors wanted to have a look at the large kidneys (10kg) they had not seen before. One doctor wanted to do a thesis on it.


Psalm 22:22, ‘I will declare Your name to My brethren; In the midst of the assembly I will praise You.’ Glory to the Lord, I will forever praised Him. It took the doctors five and a half hours to take out that pair of kidneys and I did not even have a transfusion of blood into my body. The doctor had prepared six pints of blood for me. I only paid RM300 for the stay and operation at the hospital compared to the thousands that I would have been charged in the private hospital. Praise the Lord!!! It is a miracle!!! God heard my prayers. That was in 7th July 2003. (you can see that pair of kidneys at my site www.kbchan.net)

I stayed in the hospital for a week, I was depressed for three days when I saw my sunken stomach and I had lost a lot of weight. I thought I would not recover and I would die like most of the dialysis patients who went through a major operation. In my depressed state, I had a fleeting thought of jumping out of the window, but it was on the 2nd floor, not high enough to kill me. I wanted to go to the fourth floor but I could not walk. Hallelujah!!!

On the evening of the third day, a friend dropped by and told me how miraculous the operation was and began to pray for me and encourage me. Immediately I was filled with the Spirit of restoration and I was convicted that it was indeed a great miracle from the Lord. JESUS IS ALIVE.

That night I started to see visions on the walls of the hospital about my future calling and songs began to come to me all through the night. I was filled with the Holy Spirit and many songs were written on the hospital bed itself. I wrote ten songs during the intimate times with God, and as I recouperated I completed an album called ‘Intimacy – A Worship Experience.’ That was the beginning of my restoration and resurrection!!! Amen.


Listen to the song 'Kam Siah Kam Siah Choo' (Thank You God) @

www.soundclick.com/kbchan




next………Bearing Fruits.

THE RESURRECTION (2) - CANDLE IN THE WIND

Candle in the wind.

John12:23-24, Jesus said ‘….the hour has come that the Son of Man should be glorified. Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain’.

My kidneys had grown to the size of two coconuts and the system in my body had all jammed up. I was like a pregnant man. I could not breathe, lost of appetite and suffered severe constipation. I thought I was going to die. I said God, ‘I shall not die, but live. And declare the works of the Lord.’ (Psalm 118:17)

Because of my love and desire to continue to glorify the name of the Lord, I began a search for a doctor to remove at least a kidney, so that I have space inside my body and perhaps I could live longer. I was fighting for my life, like a candle in the wind. The urologist from my own hospital had no confidence in the operation and practically chased me out of his clinic. The doctors in Kuala Lumpur said they could remove one kidney but at a heavy price and at the same time I had to look for finance for the operation because I live by faith.

In desperation, I started to bargain and struggle with the Lord, I begged, ‘God why have you forsaken me? You are the Lord that healeth me, you are the Lord my healer. Just stretch your hands and touch me. Your hands are not too short nor your eyes blind nor your ears blocked to my predicament, Lord! part your clouds and come and deliver me, please.’

After much prayer and waiting with a brokenned and contrite heart, the Lord impressed deeply upon my heart. He said, ‘Yes son, I am the Lord your healer, I will have mercy on whomever I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whomever I will have compassion.’ (Rom.9:15) I have chosen you from the beginning of time that you have to walk this path. ‘For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I may show My power in you, and that My name may be declared in all the earth.’ (Rom.9:17)’

God continued, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness’, (2Cor.12:9) ‘…for when you are weak, then you are strong.’ (2Cor.12:10).

People who believes only in prosperity and healing, doesn’t realize how much strength God gives to those, especially Christians, who have to go through sickness, deprivation, rejection, etc. in their lives, as long as they are not discourage. And through their sufferings the Creator will hone His character into their souls, which will last through eternity.


‘In bringing many sons to glory, it was fitting that God for whom and through whom everything exist, should make the author of their salvation perfect through suffering.’ (Heb.2:10) Jesus, being the first-born (Rom.8:29), has shown us the way on the cross to perfection.

We do not have to suffer for our salvation because it is only by grace we can enter only by grace we stand. Not by our human endeavor but by the blood of the lamb. But after salvation we have to suffer for righteousness sake and for spiritual promotion, from maturity and to be more and more like Christ. Suffering is a wonderful fertilizer for the roots of our character. The great objective of this life is character, for it is the only thing we can carry with us into eternity.

I was convicted in my heart and I remembered ‘Gethesemane’. I said ‘Abba Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from me, nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will.’(Mark.14:36) And peace began to reign in my heart.


listen to the song 'A Broken and Contrite Spirit who can bear' @

http://soundclick.com/kbchan
http://soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=3550630&q=hi

next........the crucifixtion.

THE RESURRECTION (1) - GOD IN MOTION

God In Motion - Moving On.

Blessed Good Friday!!! This blog is the continuation of the book I wrote in the year 2002 called ‘A Song In the Night ’- My Love Story. re: http://www.kbchan.net/. In this blog I wish to share some of my thoughts and experiences all through the years walking with God and I believe we can glean some spiritual truth from it.

Being saved in 1987, I started to serve God in 1989 and did some travelling around the country visiting small churches in the East Coast of Malaysia and around our capital city of Kuala Lumpur.

When I left my bank job in 1992 to serve the Lord full time, I had written and released three worship albums. Energized by the passion for Christ, I travelled around the country in my van and with my keyboard to live out God’s calling in my life. Doors were opened to me to even go overseas to minister and I thought God had big plans to use me mightily.

And suddenly in 1994, God took me to the back part of the desert when my kidneys failed and I had to start dialysis. Those were the years of lonely wilderness experience where God began to empty me. God started to take away and put thorns at my side to put me through His consuming fire of preparation and purification. My rebellion and stubbornness melted like wax in His presence and I was like a dried sponge soaking up every drop of teaching and dealing from the Holy Spirit, yielding in obedience.

Some said that it is the end of ministry for KB or even his life. While others said we will not see him anymore. And at the same time my kidneys grew bigger and larger, threatening my life after nine years of dialysis. I suffered from a disease called Polycystic Kidneys where cysts grow all over my kidneys.

All these time I have no knowledge that God is in motion for His greater plans for my good (Rom. 8:28) It is not my plan but I have no choice, but to move on. I know He is a good God and He has plans to prosper me and not to harm me. I know I may not feel comfortable at the moment, I trusted Him and by faith I know that it will be for my good, although I could hear the sound of voices from a distance, ‘crucify Him, crucify Him’.

Exodus 40:36, ‘Whenever the cloud was taken up from above the tabernacle, the children of Israel would go onward in all their journeys’. God is moving!!! If I had disobeyed and dwell in bitterness and self pity, it would have been the end of everything.

My passion and love for Jesus were still intact. In fact I overcame my disadvantages and even began to minister to the dialysis patients in the hospital and brought many to the Lord and found peace and fulfillment in my soul. Praise the Lord!!!

It was also in these turbulent and struggling times that the Holy Spirit began to give me deeper songs to write and inspired me to write a book called ‘A Song In the Night’.
Out of Babylon had come a song, out of the broken alabaster jar, came sweet perfume that rose to the heavenly throne of God as 'deep calls unto deep'. (Psalm 42:7)

I have cried buckets of tears for my healing. And each time I would go to the music keyboard to worship Jesus and encourage myself, new songs would begin to come.
I was like :



THE LITTLE BIRD

A little Bird I am
Shut from the fields of the air
And in my cage I sit and sing
To Him who place me there
Well pleased a prisoner to be
Because, my God, it pleaseth Thee

My cage confines me around
Abroad I cannot fly
But though my wing is closely bound
My soul is at liberty
For prison walls cannot control
The flight, the freedom of the soul!!!

Listen to the song 'A Song In the Night.' @
http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=3550400&q=lo
http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=3550400&q=hi



Next……… Candle In the Wind